Friday, May 8, 2009

Blessed are thou Mother


Blessed art thou woman
For thou shalt be called Mother
Yea, and thy chores and thy tasks
Shall follow thee all the days of thy life.

And thou shalt eat the bread of thine own baking
And Thou shall dwell forever in a
Filthy house, if thou doest not choose
To clean it thyself

Thou shalt arise before the cock croweth
And thou shalt say unto thine self,
“Where are the offspring
Which were given me? Yea, the sun
Has risen high in the sky, and the
Hour is getting late; wherefore, I
Have been long at my labors.”

And thou shalt go and find thy
Offspring prostrate on their cot.
And thou shalt say unto them, “Haste,
Arise and shine, for I have many labors
For thee to perform, Wherefore, I have
Been many hours already preparing the way”

And thine offspring shall linger in sleep
And shall say unto thee, “Thou didst
Not watch the late, late, late show
As I did last night and mine eyes are
Heavy and mine bones acheth.”

And thou shalt say unto thy offspring,
“get thee up from thy cot
ere I lay hand upon thee
and go ye hither and scrub a sparkling tub
for thou has left black rings upon its sides.”

And thy offspring shall say unto thee,
“I will go and do thy bidding—in a minute.”

And thy rage shall know no end and thou shalt weep and wail and knash thy teeth mightily.

Nevertheless, thou shalt scrub a sparkling tub thyself and glory
Shall be added unto thee, for thou didst
Not strike the lazy beast.

Thou art blessed above all others
And thy descendents shall call thee
Blessed, for thou preparest a table before them
Thou cookest meat and all manner of tasty vittles
And they shall sit at the table with thee
And partake with thee.

And they shall add glory to thy crown
For they shall let thee also wash the dishes,
If thou wilt.

And when the night falleth, thou shalt be pooped
And thy offspring shall say of thee,
“She is an old woman, wherefore
She neither goes dancing, nor does she
Watch the late, late, late show.”

Thy art and thy craft shall make thee called on
And thou shalt labor at many tasks in the kingdom
For whosoever asketh, thou do his bidding.

Thy back shall acheth with arthritis,
Thy cane and thy husband
Shall be thy support
Thy veins shall be varicose in thy aching legs
But thou shalt do thy labor with a smile,
Neither shall thou gripe
For in the day that thou doest,
Thy name shall be mud.

Nevertheless, thou art blessed for
thou art crowned with the angels
On the second Sunday of May on each
And every year.

Wherefore, thou shalt be blessed above
All others for thou art Mother
And thou shalt find peace and joy in
Thy offspring forever and ever,
If thou endureth to the end!

by anonymous

1 comment:

B said...

Who wrote this?! LOL!!